Wooden Art
Most craft workers use vans to carry their stock around and as I said earlier quite a lot pull caravans from fair to fair. It really depends on your product. A jewler only needs his car where as a garden furniture man needs a whacking great van and anyone stupid enough to be hanging around when he needs a hand lifting it in.
As soon as I see these laden down vehicles arrive I develop a limp and severe deafness. When you are unloading at a fair there is the question of security, leaving your van doors open while you are carrying goods to and fro can result in you having less stock to sell than you thought.
Patrick who travels in ladies outfits, ( I can't remember what he sells ), solves this by having the largest aggressive Alsation tied to the back door of his van. Get too near by accident and you will need to go to the toilets to clean yourself up. Talking of Patrick he was the practical joker on the circuit and I often found myself on the wrong end of his pranks. He once came in early to the show and painted a white outline of a body on the floor of one stand and wrapped the whole display up with 'Police Do Not Enter' tape. When I was discussing a painting with a client a blow up doll appeared from behind my stand saying 'I love you Eric'.
While I am at shows I sit and paint a picture on my stand. Once I came back from getting a coffee and started working on a painting. When a crowd had gathered round to watch, Patrick appeared and pointed out that I painted by numbers.
When I looked closer he had pencilled numbers onto the painting and taped the corresponding numbers to my pans of watercolour. He has given me garlic flavoured sweets, filled my car with balloons and various other pranks, but a fair without him is a lot duller.
The best form of transport I have seen was a hearse belonging to Andy who had adapted it to carry him and his small wooden puzzles and gifts.
One week I found myself attending a trade fair at the NEC Birmingham with Andy, myself and two others, Andrew and Bill. We were staying in Stratford on Avon during that week and using the hearse to travel to the fair. We were required to be well dressed for this event, with Andy and Bill, both big blokes in dark suits. Trying to get along the M42 to the NEC at 9am every morning was usually a nightmare but not with the hearse and Andy driving.
With the two of them sat bolt upright, Andy would put his lights on and his foot down and cut a swathe through the motorway lanes. Anyone in front seeing us bear down on them quickly pulled over and then looked astonished as they were passed by this hearse with a large logo in gold writing on its side that read 'LOOKING GOOD IN WOOD'.
Published: 18th May 2006 | Back to Watercolour Memories.
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